A sight that will cause heartache to any parent.
I ran to our room, knocked on the door and told Daddy, who said "let's go to the hospital now". We grabbed the bag that is always ready, changed Joy Joy into fresh clothes, changed and left home.
After examining Joy Joy and me, we were told that Joy joy needs to be admitted. Preliminary diagnosis is that she probably bit too close to my nipple when nursing, caused me to bleed, swallowed my blood and could not digest it (the Doctor said that even adults are not able to digest blood). They can't be sure but just in case it's internal bleeding, they want to observe Joy Joy for any further blood in her vomit.
I pumped as much milk as I could in the time we had left to the end of visitation hours and prayed vey hard she wouldn't be fed with formula milk. If its something wrong with her digestive system, The hard to digest formula milk could aggravate it. Surprisingly, I could extract more than 200ml.
We went home after living the nurse with some warmer clothing / our own pacifier / bottle for Joy joy, just in case she needs to be bottle fed, although I had ordered cup feeding.
It felt so different at home without Joy Joy. Suddenly, there isn't a baby that relies on me for food / comfort. I no longer need to wake up and talk to her late at night or early in the morning or sing lullabies for her. It was a quiet void but we had to do what we need to in order to be ready for the next day.
I had some food, soup and went to bed. Sleep came almost immediately. Then I woke up at 4plus to express milk (160ml!) and pack for the next day before going back to bed.
Grandma woke me up early to take a bath before Daddy sends me to hospital. Daddy had to detour back halfway because I forgot the all important milk on my way out and got reminded by a nurse who called to say that they only had 20ml of milk left and Joy Joy gulped it down in 1 minute.
When I reached the hospital Joy Joy was about to cry. I carried her and she stopped, before crying again for milk. I showed Daddy his little girl through the glass window before going into the nursing room to nurse Joy Joy.
They said she seems fine, only one occurrence of vomitting last night without blood. They arranged for me to see a lactation consultant to help me prevent Joy Joy from biting me till I bleed.
The lactation consultant was EXTREMELY GOOD! She sat down with me and Joy Joy and showed me how to help Joy Joy feed more efficiently, even if she is just nursing for comfort. The pain I had when he latches on to my right side went away like a dream. She even taught me how to burp Joy Joy better.
At then of the day, the culprit is the Pacifier. The lactation consultant said that Joy Joy sucked closer tommy nipple because of pacifier use and that in turn caused her to injure me to the extent that i bleed and she swallowed the blood and caused what we believed to be the reflux problem and subsequently the blood in vomit problem.
I have such a huge problem with pacifiers really. And the things that people like to say about nursing to Grandma when they know nuts about it. And also the things known as "experience" which people rely on to tell me I should listen to them.
It's really easy to listen then repeat what you heard. But who can help you when your baby is affected? By then, it's not a matter of whose fault it is, my baby is sick and that's it.
I'm just glad it's not a serious problem this time. There will not be a next time when it comes to the pacifier. No pacifiers are allowed near my baby, I'll throw them away if necessary and nobody can change my mind about it.