my heart lives outside my body

Started last Friday.. I saw it once or twice. And slowly, the frequency increased and Tuesday night during bed time, it happened consecutively for 6-7 times with only a few seconds of break in between.

I called Daddy immediately and we went to KKH right away.

The doctor said she could be
(1) having breath holding spells
(2) having seizures
(3) throwing a tantrum each time she is doing it

The little girl was supposed to be admitted for observations. I asked them what they would do and they said they would chart the episodes and check of she does it during her sleep.

We refused admission and opted to do it at home ourselves.

Now I'm regretting that decision. It didn't turn out well and we have practically no data for the doctor.

We'd see a neurologist tomorrow. All the information I can offer is that she does it whenever she gets excited / is very happy / is very angry / is very tired / is very frustrated / is forced to do something or not to do something.

sometimes she stops doing it when we hold her hand and calls her name. sometimes she doesn't. To me, it doesn't look voluntary at all.

Bad parent feelings aside for not charting the episodes properly, I can't help being worried, especially with this history.

Daddy just packed out diaper bag and I've gotten us food ready for tomorrow. It was strangely comforting to do all these preparation work.

crossing my fingers for tomorrow.