Epidural or no Epidural

These are the responses I get from FB on Epidural or no Epidural. Isn't it just amazing.

Thing is, I think my uterus is contracting (i.e. when Joy Joy is not moving but my uterus tightens and wraps around her and I can see her bump clearly and my whole tummy area is like a hard basketball) once in a while, but I don't feel contraction pain! So when do I go to the hospital? When the water bag bursts? When I have bloody show?

I also have a funny and secret worry that my water bag will burst when I'm on the bed. Whats gonna happen to the bed...